I’m surprised though
It makes much more sense to me now, I was afraid to tell you I didn’t buy anything you were saying or doing because I don’t trust you but I didn’t want you to run away because (and I’m surprised at myself that)
I miss you
I love hearing your breath, your voice
I think you’re cute, your imperfections are sincerely charming
I care about you as a friend first
You can’t seriously like me as much as you say and still push me away all these times. For I feel like I’ve been the one pursuing this whole time away.
You’re comparing me in your mind, and more and more I’m becoming a girl
LOOK AT ME (I haven’t been myself). I hope some of your moves are sincere because I’m falling for them, but generally I’m ashamed when I think you’re calculating me out. Though who can’t say I’m doing the same?
So Two reasons for my hesitating: I hate myself, and I don’t think you understand me, because you couldn’t possibly love me if you knew I can’t trust anyone to love me (some thing like that)
The conflicting components of my heart which have made me confused:
I want to be with him and make him special
I don’t want anyone to be special in the world, including myself - friends are equals, boy friends and girl friends and best friends are choosing, hardly seems fair.
