Rantings of an Inner Child

But now I feel an itch to write and I usually use this blog for myself so it may not seem interesting to you, who ever you are…

I’m not sure even what about. Perhaps a reflection will do, my nails are getting a bit long, I’d like to to type faster but it seems I’m hitting keys, how i didn’t even notice it was a problem. I still don’t know how L takes care of himself, he’s always the same even though I feel like I haven’t left his side. Well he’s always doing well it seems, good for him I suppose. Good for him

So why do we stay with people? something that we see in them that we’d like to see in ourselves? the enjoyment from being loved? ignorance? I have no idea. I just want to live my life, and seeing people in it makes me happy. I want to be around more people, engage in more activities, reflect with those people around me about who I am because even boyfriends can’t tell the truth to your face if they know it’ll hurt you. Except my jokes a lot and it bothers me, I’ll joke back.

Now lets see, where was I going. I hope everyone in SL is doing well. I can’t say I have as strong or vast a connection of people here as I do back home. Yes there are one or too but no core group, no people I truly enjoy being around, and it’s hard to find that group of people now. The division of social networks seems inter-related to the kinds of personalities we admit and than (at least here) the other factor is chance. I suppose I can get more involved in my extracurriculars, they are very nice. But I’d like to have people I could call up for lunch or dinner. I always see people I know when I walk in randomly but we just catch up and part again. Saddness….

School work sucks. I don’t know what to do, I’m trying a different approach again, we’ll see how it goes. I’ll hit and miss for the rest of my life if I have to I suppose. BF is writing a long email to someone, probably his TF about either his paper or something in class, the long detail tells me he’s sucking up without trying. Terrifying person really, really really terrifying. JK

Best,